Alright, so I've lived in St. Petersburg a little over a month, and I've been to Twistee Treat….ohhhh about 8 or 12 times. And this averages to about 2 or 3 walks of shame per week to this comically large ice cream cone nestled in between a fish bait store and a tattoo parlor. By the way, I'm pretty sure passengers flying into the Tampa airport can see this ice cream cone outside their cabin window.
….Ambiance
Swing by this place at around noon right when they open, and it'll be as vacant as your local Blockbuster. But heck, come here at around 6pm and this place will be more poppin' than most of the smelly, old bars along Gulfport.
"And it'll stay that way until the time we close at 11pm," says Summer, a Twistee Treat employee.
"I think it has to do with the beach. People spend their whole day at the beach, and afterwards they're thinking 'Man, I want some ice cream.'," she explains as she hands me my usual fat ass portion of chocolate ice cream with brownie bits.
 |
| It looks nasty, but I swear it's not |
If you want to avoid the rush, Summer suggests coming before 3pm to avoid all the kids coming home from school.
….Service
At night expect to wait about 5-8 minutes in line while standing behind all the white-haired old couples staying up past their bedtime, polo-wearing dads who decided to bring all their children for "family night", and women about my age hanging onto their boyfriends' shoulders like really heavy tote bags.
Summer was a pretty cool chick, but this other dude who works the night shift seems about as outgoing and lively as a pile of rocks. He should smile more and take Peter Griffin's advice: "Cheer up! Life ain't that bad!!!"
….Ice Cream
Well, I recommend my signature $5.13 typhoon chocolate ice cream and brownie, but in case you're a butthole and don't like chocolate, here are menus I've creepily taken pictures of while bystanders stared at me in a what-the-fuck-is-she-doing kind of way.
….Put Bluntly
This place has some interesting features to it, and I'll explain.
I give you…. exhibit A:
 |
| Obnoxious lighting shining onto ice cream cone like it's being interrogated |
Why on earth are there streetlights shining an absurd light onto customers like we're at a football stadium? Seriously, it's as lit up as a Kay Jewelers in the mall.
Exhibit B:
Okay, okay! I get it! Every ice cream place has a tip jar, but could you not take a shit on my heart for not tipping? So far, this means I've killed about 12 unicorns and the death toll is continuing to climb.
Last but not least:
$15.95 for a shirt that says Twistee Treat?! First of all, who will buy that? Second, it shouldn't cost about half of my weekly grocery bill. And I suppose if I don't buy one, what? Will the hundred acre woods will burn down?
But hey this is my local, charming (and slightly strange) ice cream stand. And even if it leads to a unicorn bloodbath, everyone who lives on St. Pete beach should come get a taste of Twistee Treat!
No comments:
Post a Comment