Restaurant Review: Seasons Cafe and Bakery

After spending a long Thursday Facebooking at work, I met up with my adult friend at this strip mall restaurant.

Oh, but not after being held up for about three minutes by this congested nostril of a traffic jam….

Jerks who slowed me down by three
minutes

All of that left me as hungry and devoid of life as my mother trucking through Day 2 of her nutri-system diet. Since this hunger reduced me to my primal, neanderthal roots of merely wanting food and not caring if it was goddamn poop-on-a-stick, I had Adult Friend order for us.

Here were the results.

….Food

Egg sandwich with a side of egg

Fried Rice with Chicken (and a piddle of red something on the right)

Kiwi/strawberry shaved ice

Let's just say I have a binary system when it comes to eating food when I'm this deliriously hungry: it's either mind-blowingly amazing or just eh. 

In this case, it was the first—but with a special slap on the ass and pervy wink to the kiwi/strawberry shaved ice. Who knew artificially-flavored ice with fruit from a can thrown on top could taste better than ice cream?

….Service

So, the egg sandwich was delivered to Adult Friend and me quick as hell. 

But, for some reason, Seasons Cafe tried turning this into a three-course meal and delivered the fried rice and shaved ice (ha, that rhymed) each about 15 minutes apart. Like how the heck a handful of frost with about four pieces of fruit on it takes that long to make? 

I don't know, man—the jury's still out on that one.

….Put bluntly

Okay the food was great, the cutesy trees painted on the wall were charming, but that wait time. It was 6:30 pm on a weeknight, but come on people—pick up the pace!

Seasons, I wanted to like you, but you made it difficult—alright? Faithful readers, I hope you have a speedier visit or hey maybe just order carry-out? I think Seasons may need to have someone go in and whip some towels around.