Restaurant Review: La Cote Basque Winehouse

Late evening on a Tuesday, my mom and I treated ourselves to an elegant French restaurant located at 31st Ave South and South Beach Blvd.

Remember me mentioning a restaurant that you wouldn't want to take a first date to?

It's because you should totally take her here instead! This place will knock those Chanel aviators right off her mascara-clumped eyes. However, at $20 per meal you may want to make sure she is someone you are really trying to impress.

….Ambiance

This place is the epitome of sophistication. Even while wearing the best dress in my closet, I still felt like my presence was somehow smudging this restaurant's serene appearance.

I mean, look at this place!!!

I would not recommend showing up to this place in your "Turn Down for What?" t-shirts or any of your OBEY apparel—not that anyone in their right mind would. This restaurant was adorned with stained-glass lamps, crystal chandeliers, hand-painted murals of people dressed like Jane and Jane's dad from Tarzan, and lit up in such a way that it always appeared to be midnight. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought my mom was trying to seduce me by taking me there.

….Service

Our waiter's politeness matched the restaurant's elegance. His upstanding-citizen demeanor made him seem like someone who never cheated on their taxes and always returned their library books back on time. 

And when my mom asked him about the bread they served, he didn't just say it was rye or pumpernickel. Instead, he said it was their "specialty house bread brushed with honey and lightly coated with sugar to caramelize the seeds" or something like that. It was a response so quick, so polished that I didn't even register it as possible code for "M'am, I haven't a clue" until a few days later as I type this out.

….Food

My mom and I both ordered the same dish: Flounder Francese. The fish itself was a bit bland, but what made it tasty was the tangy, lemon-flavored sauced drizzled on top. 

Our entrees were served long before our forced, pretending-to-be-interested conversation turned into "Now where the f*** is my food?!" So, basically it arrived about ten minutes after placing our order.

….Put Bluntly

It was a bit too dark. My eyes felt strained while I was there.

Another thing—and this is a very small detail—is the bathroom. It was downright creepy. As I walked down the hall to the bathroom, I couldn't help but notice the restaurant transition from romantic-looking into looking like it could have been the hotel from The Shining.

With the exception of those two minor details, I would definitely eat here again. However, since it is on the pricey side, I'd recommend checking out any deals they might have on Groupon before coming.